


You Own The Place Where All My Thoughts Go Hiding

by libra_sun



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Boys In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Hookups, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, Swearing, alternative universe, and adam cant belive people as passionate as ronan exist, and they both sort of love to hate each other, basically ronan can't belive adam parish is real, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 12:58:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17622809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libra_sun/pseuds/libra_sun
Summary: The first time Ronan won a motocross competition he was 8. It was his first year ever competing on an official little league and everyone was surprised, everyone but the Lynches, that a newcomer with no base little league experience won and with such a gap.Once Ronan stepped off the podium and after Matthew and Declan hugged him – almost to dead if you ask Ronan- the words Niall Lynch said next “Great, now keep doing it so they don’t think it was a mistake” tangled so hard in Ronan’s DNA that they became a part of him. So he did it. He won and won and won. Until Adam Parrish.





	1. You're a song written by the hands of a God

**The Red Bulletin**

_Red Bull Media House_

**The Motocross World says Goodbye to Ronan Lynch**

_**By: Henry Cheng** _

 

If someone asks Ronan about his life – or anyone around him for that matter -, he will probably tell them to ‘fuck off’ or something along those lines that would make Gansey flutter with embarrassment. Luckily, after years of trying, reporters knew better now than to ask him questions. They mostly just ask if he has something to say.

 

On a good day, Ronan could vary between how it went when one would interview literally any other person in the planet to being a funny –like actually made you laugh- interviewee. On a bad one, it was a nightmare. It would either end with him not saying anything or a bunch of swearing you probably would never hear off – Ronan loves compound insults - but depending who you were; you would find bad days either annoying or amusing. Blue seems to find Ronan better the days he snarls.

 

This interviewer definitely finds him better on the days that he talks, which was not the case of this interview. So, allow me to try my best to encapsulate Ronan, by the things I saw while I spent 3 days around him conducting this interview and what was said by those who love him.

 

Besides Roman’s name coming along with words like racing, insults, and scowls; more often than not three names follow: Noah, Gansey, and Blue.

 

No matter where Roman went, they were there with him. It is somewhat amusing to think of Ronan as a soft kid who was ‘always smiling’ and went to Pre-K, made friends, painted with his fingers and laughed until he spilled drinks out of his mouth but all this and more has been confirmed by Noah Czerny. His ultimate best friend. Ex-skater. And intentionally colourful. The beginning of their relationship is a bit unclear, unlike the rest we do not know exactly how it started but we know once it did, it rocket and never came down.  

 

Blue was more of a teenage addition. When a girl ran to the congratulation bin and hugged 14-year-old Ronan ‘I need no one but my family and Noah’ Lynch, everyone was shocked. That is until he pushed her off, mutter ‘fuck off maggot!’  And told Gansey to control her. This lead to her ranting off about no one controlling her and his misogynist ways and a whole other things that left it clear this girl belonged to his solar system.

 

And then there was one. Being a son of politicians and royalty, one would never picture a Campbell surrounding himself in the world of someone like Ronan Lynch. Especially after how decorated Ronan’s public opinions are towards ‘the likes of them’ (politicians and such). Surprisingly, Richard is anything but a box full of surprises. When he said he wanted to be ‘uprising motocross rider Ronan Lynch’s manager’ in a public interview when asked about his future in politics, it was a chaos-based week in both worlds.

 

Ronan’s only comment when asked about it was a very dry sarcastic ‘Ha ha’ followed by a little snort and a ‘Fuck Dick’ said with a smile that left everyone confused.

 

Little did we all know they were friends all along. Ronan being Ronan, banded Richard - who likes to go by Gansey - to attend any competitions. Once, when Ronan was 5 years old he lost his first competition did not compete for three years until the win that changed his life. Gansey went with the family to cheer for him and, although not confirmed, but sort of yes by Noah – the inner circle is pretty sure Ronan banded Gansey from going to his competitions because he was embarrassed.

 

Gansey being Gansey agreed and because of his principals and nobility, keeping his word. He never went, but always watched and was always with them to celebrate. Until it wasn’t enough. Richard Campbell does not do anything in halves. He not only wanted to come to the games. But also make Roman’s ‘every dream possible’.

 

Gansey said - although very off the record and then repeated exactly the same way by Noah but on record (I suspect he repeated it so I could use it in this interview)- that Ronan was afraid Gansey would go to a competition, he would screw it up and Gansey would still see him as: in Ronan’s words ‘that fucked up 6 years old’ – to which I suspect has more to do with something else that a sad kid losing a race by the looks they all had when these words were said -  but that Ronan often joked that Gansey was his ‘racing bad luck charm’.  

 

One thing everyone loved as much as Ronan, or Ronan and his very aesthetic click, was his family.

 

Unlike any other racer, you could always count the whole Lynch family being at the glass VIP section. Never one or two. Or any. You could always see the three Lynch men - very different but also alike in an almost creepy way - on the box.  Ever since the start and all the years that have gone by.

 

It was clear from the start that no one loved the Lynches more than they love them self and each other. The three brothers, although you could never hear it in words - besides from Matthew, charm of them all, sun of all sun shines - if you paid enough attention to the trio, you a could hear it in their insults and cutting sharp tones when they spoke, the love they have for each other.

 

After two years of Ronan Lynch and his family being a moto race mystery, the first person the world got to know was Matthew Lynch, and I am unsure if it was a good or bad thing.

 

On one hand, Mathew Lynch is everything. From a walking sunshine, to the actual human form of glitter and it made everyone think that’s how they all must be, that’s how the family must run, little did we know how wrong we were.

 

We were shown how fierce the family is when that year a reporter said something – to this day no one knows what, because only Matthew Lynch heard-, but whatever it was showed us the other side of the coin. He turned around in an unfathomable speed and was spite and fire and I am pretty sure Ares blood runs through the veins of this family.  

 

One would think that older brother Declan had a very busy life with how successful he is. Declan Lynch is a very well-known figure. If you know of sports, you knew Declan Lynch: Ultimate sports lawyer. But just as if it was Sunday church, Declan would never miss a race day. Once, not too long ago, it was even said he has meetings in the box while races are going on. One would wonder how successful those meetings are or how professional Declan is or how much he actually cares about the race if he has meetings while they’re going on. But Declan’s success rate speaks for itself and no one has questioned or wonder his dedication, professionalism or passion again.

 

If I’ve learned something from them is to never doubt their passion. That is the thing with the Lynch. They go all in or nothing in everything. Their passion. Their love. Their personas.

 

Unlike to popular belief and If you were paying attention, you would know everything started with Aurora Lynch, not Niall like many have suggested. She was, in fact, the one who bought Ronan that 50cc 2-stroke Max Front Wheel of 10” bike instead of a bicycle like he had asked for Christmas. She understood the fire that ran into her sons' blood more than anyone.

 

However, to uncurl the spiral, we have to go all the way back to that one race many years ago. Picture this:  A 6-year-old Ronan at his first race where while having his Rider’s meeting, after his 30 minutes practice, is informed by his father that Aurora Lynch had to be taken to the hospital.

 

Little Ronan does not want to compete. Why would he? The passion this family has for each other could probably cause earthquakes and that same passion will keep them from stopping those disasters as they destroy everything on their path which is why Niall Lynch has very different ideas.

 

Niall Lynch has said that he was sure that race was going to be it for Ronan, his breakthrough moment into the little leagues base – it is a very known thing that kids who do good in the base league more often than not just keep rising at least until their teenage years -. So in his head, if Ronan competed he was going to win and that; that would be everything.

 

He tells Ronan to do it, to put his craving on everything he is going to do; asks him to fight for it; that mom would be ‘waiting anyway’. He tells him that they are of Lynch blood and they never give up, they never let go. That they pull and pull and pull and they’re always the one holding the cord when the times up. Niall Lynch tells Ronan that Aurora is strong and assures him that his win will make her pull through.

 

Ronan tries he really does and if you were the audience you would be surprised of how good this 6-year-old is and disappointed when it’s not enough. But we are not Niall Lynch, he knew and trained Ronan, he knew that what Ronan was showing was not his 100% - but most of all he knew Ronan tried his best when he took off - or more like ripped off - his helmet and smashed it to the ground and all that was left was a tear-stained, red eyes and even more red cheeks boy.

 

Sources say they made it to the hospital that day with enough time to see Aurora Lynch a life. Only with enough time for Ronan to tell her that he did not win and for her so start a sentence that was left unfinished and Ronan wondering if it was his fault.

 

Between that competition, and his actual breakthrough three years later, at 9 years old, no one knows what happened. Ronan Lynch was not signed up to any base little leagues and although it is not a requirement, the decision makes everyone wonder. Nevertheless, no one questions it because from then on Ronan only won that year. Then came back again the following year and has not left or lost ever since.

 

Maybe it’s because of this that Ronan Lynch has announced trying for a new Motor race section this year. He is moving on from Motocross to Supercross. It is well known that Supercross has shorter straights, more jumps and it is much more technical compared to Motocross.

 

With this, the world of Motocross says goodbye to Ronan Lynch.

 

But everyone else says can and most likely will say hello to Supercross Lynch the 14th of May, with a new and different bike, tracks and competitors.


	2. Don't Get Me Wrong

It was raining today and raining hard. This whole day can suck titts ass if you ask Ronan.

 

Today was a new day, a different day. The past few years Ronan has not felt any special surge of emotions when it came to racing. But, today he was filled with so many positive and negative ones he was sure a breakdown was coming. Having just finished the practice drives he felt things that reminded him of all those years ago when he looked forward to races and felt nervous and just on the verge of throwing up all the time but excited and buzzing and always ready for it.

 

The past few years, Ronan became numb. He would race and win but it didn't make his heart race or got adrenaline pumping through his whole body. The hunger was not there anymore, that raw desire to run the track had vanished. He still raced, because he fucking loves it; but lately loving it and being giving it his all was not enough. He wanted to feel just like he did in the beginning, challenged. Motocross was his life, but by this point, nothing was a surprise. Racing in that dirt outdoor track now felt like taking a road trip. There was no new things, no challenging people, no challenge in the track - that despite it changing every competition in his heart it still remained the same - it was all just so plain for him now, but not plain enough to quit. It was never ever plain enough for him to quit.

 

Ronan watches the rain. It was pouring and his feelings were all over the place. Today floating over every other emotion, there are two main ones that he can seem to get rid off. Emotions that he tamed a long time ago are exploiting inside of him. 

 

For the first time in a while, he is feeling that raw desire to run that tracked eat everyone whole - that emotion he liked. But, even stronger than that, he was thinking about his mom.

 

The month Aurora Lynch died felt like it would ever stop pouring. The whole year after that it felt like a never-ending obscure sky. It was tempest after tempest for the Lynch family.

 

Niall, - who never felt like he needed to out of his way to be kind - did not know how to raise kids and cope with Aurora not being there. Which lead a small ten-year-old Declan to take in some jobs he never wanted or thought he could do too but that paid off like a miracle.

 

The next year, everything seems to be back on track. Suddenly, it was like something clicked in the Lynch dynamic. They all miss Aurora, and some things were still harder to do and some situations were not bearable yet but they realized as hard as it was that life just kept going on.

 

Niall Lynch was determined to get the boxing lessons back on - that world was the way Niall knew how to reach to his sons. 

 

After a long argument which consisted mostly the boys stubbornly voicing that they did not want to box ever again because ‘mom once said it was ugly’ and Niall saying that she didn’t mean they couldn't box and reminding them she was one - which took a toll on everyone. To sum it up it was a tough day for everyone. Which is why, It took everyone by surprise when the next day they saw Declan standing outside with the training mat and all the equipment set up - how he pulled everything out of the house was beyond Niall or every adult he told the story to -but there he was with his gloves on, ready to practice. So practice they did.

 

Ronan with all the energy he could muster felt very betrayed about this whole thing. He started from the sidelines until the betrayal turned to anger and he told his dad he wanted to practice to punch a tooth out of Declan. Which in the Lynch world meant everything was back in order and with that the training routine back on track. Football for Matthew, Tennis for Declan, Motocross for Ronan and boxing for all of them.

 

At first, training with Ronan was bad. Unlike the other boys, Niall Lynch was Ronan’s coach. The first weeks of training were screaming matches and ruined bikes and Niall wondering off for hours and Matthew crying because dad was gone and Declan lecturing Ronan which ended up in them two fighting again and those lasted even more than his fights with Niall. It went on and on from bad to worst until one day it was alright and then okay and it moved to good and then Ronan remembered why he wanted to do this in the first place. So, they trained and trained and Ronan was ready for his second first competition.

 

“Ro” Noah said as he rested his forehead on Ronan’s shoulder and they both stood there knowing the rest were gonna come in barging at any minute.

 

“How was the practice race?” said Niall as soon as he bragged in followed shortly by one of the guys from the tech team asking what was said in the rider’s meeting and just like that their bubble was burst. From then on, it was all tactical talk and a lot of things Noah understood but did not care enough to pay attention. So, he just sat there, stared at Ronan and waited for Gansey or Blue to come in and tell Niall that Ronan needed to go line up at the gate.

 

 

****

 

Gansey was thankful that the tantrum of curse words that just left Roman’s mouth was muffled by the crowds' cheers and lucky that it came after the crowd's silence.

 

It was not that he majorly lost, he came in fourth. Realistically speaking, the Cross world was not expecting Ronan to win, but people were not expecting him to not make the podium. Supercross and Motocross are not the same sport, even if it may look just the same; bikes, dirt tracks and jumping.

 

Before the Main Event which consists only of 22 riders, the cross-competition splits itself into three parts which happen in the afternoon and one at night.The first elimination happens in the afternoon, the riders take part into three practice session where the last two are timed and the 40 riders with the best times advance to the night program.

 

After that part is done, the 40 riders are split into two groups. Ronan had to compete in a series of Heat Races - where only 9 riders from each group moved on to the Main Event. However, if you weren’t one of the lucky ones, there was always the Last Chance Qualifier where only 4 of the Heat Races remaining constants could still make it through. 

 

Luckily for Ronan, he made it directly from the Heat Race but with some time to spare he watched that last race and thought about what this new Supercross 250SX Class would do him.

 

Ronan stood there, with Niall on one side and Gansey on the other, watching the award ceremony. They were both trying to encourage him and lift up his spirit, but Ronan did not feel anything but happiness. For the first time in a while he felt like it was worth it, he tried so hard and made it through and he felt hunger, desire and adrenaline coming back to him.

 

He watches and barely listens to whatever conversation those around him were having as the second place took the podium. When the Main Event was happening, he did not pay attention to the riders around him or their numbers or what they were doing for all he cared at that moment -when the bike was roaring, the rest of the world could fuck off -. All of it turned into blurred sidelines.

 

it was when he heard Gansey talking to the time about how they could improve his jumps on the WHOOPS that he decided to step in.

 

“Take a break for a second there Gans, fuck. Shit! I’m not … Look, I am not unhappy okay. Both of you stop it.” And he could visibly see the way everyone's shoulders relaxed. For fuck's sake - what did they thought he was going to do. It was almost comical at this point. “It is all cool. It feels like - Holy fucking fuckers shit!”

 

While he did not pay attention to anything while he raced he did remember the numbers of those four racers who made it through the Last Qualifier and he could not believe he was second fucking place.

 

”See that second place? He made it through the last qualifier and he fucking beat almost everyone. Fuck.” Ronan could not fucking believe it. The thing is, he never underestimates anyone. In this sport, races could be lost or won in a snatch. But it is still shocking seeing things like this. Seeing when the least likely to, turn out to be the ones to.”I am gonna fucking love this season”


End file.
